Frustrations
Today has been another very long day. I woke up this morning with a hangover, after only two beers last night! I think that I am not drinking enough water. It is very dry here, with the cold winter air and every room being heated. I am also loosing a lot of weight – I haven’t weighed my self, but I am thinner now (and with less upper body muscle) than I’ve been in a long time. I think this is because I’m having trouble getting enough to eat. I’ve been kept quite busy each day and the food stores are not open all the time like in the states – things usually close up in the early evening. The other problem is that my messenger bag is not really able to hold more than a day’s worth of groceries, given the other stuff I have to carry around (papers, etc). I had planned to do shopping this evening, but Illke invited me to his house and I couldn’t turn him down. I would have gone before then, but I had some unexpected problems. But I’ll get to that later.
So we started with the last day of orientation at 9am. Again, boring, and this time not even really important. After that, there was lunch and then I met with a Prof from the math department (Kuusulo?). He was very nice and offered to help me find a bike and also said he would call the bank if they gave me any problems. I filled out some forms for a key, and at 2pm headed off to do some errands. Namely a) fill out a form saying what was wrong with the apartment when I moved in so that I wouldn’t be charged for it when I move out, b) pay the rent, c) pick up my computer password (which was the result of about 4 different forms), d) buy a desk lamp, e) buy a cell phone, f) buy groceries, g) get to Illke’s by 5pm. So you might be wondering why I would try to do all of this in 3 hours. Well, tomorrow is a national holiday and most things will be closed. Then almost everything will be closed on the weekend, and anything I didn’t get done today will have to wait until Monday. The cell phone and the password were therefore very important, because with out them I will have no way of arranging any human contact for three days. And I’ve been starved for human contact for too long to let that happen. The groceries were just as important because I might actually physically starve without them (see above regarding losing weight). Anyway, I accomplished a) with flying colors. However, b) was a bit more difficult. Despite just having paid the student union fee yesterday, I couldn’t remember what the Finnish words on the machine meant and didn’t want to risk signing my soul away when attempting to pay the rent. So I went into the bank and tried asking again to be signed up for internet banking (I was told last time that I was ineligible). In standard bank fashion, they said “Yes, of course you can be signed up. I have no idea why you weren’t allowed yesterday.” So I then paid the rent using a computer in the lobby of the bank designed for only that purpose. That took about an hour total. So onto c), getting the computer password, which will allow me actually use a computer that is not one of the 5 ancient iMac’s in the lobby of the library (for which there is always a line). Getting it was no problem – I went to the international student office and picked it up, where it was waiting for me after a seemingly endless process of signing forms and paying fees. Then I went to the library to check my mail, etc – but on the way I ran into Tim and some other folks who were on their way to a thrift store. I thought “Oh good, I’ll go with them now and get the lamp.” Only there were no suitable lamps, and so I went back to the library. All the computers were full, so I had to wait. When I finally got to one, my password didn’t work. The time was 3:53. So I went back to the international office, but because tomorrow is a holiday, everyone had left early, and no one could help me. So the password was useless. This really disappointed me, because I really miss my friends, and I want more than just about anything right now to talk with them and share my experiences so far. It would be really nice to talk to people over skype, too. However, with out a computer password, I can’t use any computers except the slow crowded ones in the library (which is basically only open M-F 9-5), which aren’t really suitable for spending a few hours setting up my blogs, downloading skype, or sending emails. Not to mention that I can’t register for class with out the password, or pay my credit card bill (which will be coming due very soon). So anyway, I was very frustrated by this. So much so that I really was starting to hate it here! It seemed that despite the fact that everyone is very nice, people are so over-protective of the resources here (which are substantial) that it is nearly impossible to get anything done correctly. Really, I just felt helpless and powerless. I couldn’t seem to get anything right, and it seemed that even the simple things (like finding hangars for my closet or getting to the grocery store) were next to impossible.
Ok, so back to the list. It was now 4 pm or so, and I decided to go grocery shopping. I had figured that Illke was planning on feeding me, since he said to be at his house around 5pm. However, on the way to the store, I ran into Tim and Illke. I asked “What can I bring to add to dinner?” and he just looked at me blankly. Anyway, they were on the way to get some kebab (it’s all over the world) and so I figured I’d better join them or else I’d be starving. So the grocery store got scrapped. However, I ate really fast and there was a cell phone place next to the restaurant. I bought a used nokia for 15Euro. I tried to buy service too, but apparently that’s done at another place. So I have a phone but no service yet. At this point we had to head out to Illke’s place, which was about 7km outside of town. We took the bus (2.60 Euro!). Present were Tim, Illke, three Greeks, and myself. We didn’t really do anything at Illke’s except listen to him talk about his stuff, which he was very proud of. He also did quite an impressive juggling demonstration. It was fun, but I think I would rather have gotten groceries. So I took the bus back into town around 8:30 and was home by 9:30. I really wanted a bowl of cereal, but the milk had frozen in the fridge (it remains an ice-cube after an hour next to the warm stove) so I had to settle for spaghetti for the second night in a row, with the promise of spaghetti for lunch and dinner tomorrow as well.
Well, I feel as if I’m spending a lot of time complaining and not a lot of time talking about how beautiful it is here. It is very beautiful here. It was colder today than before, but still no lower than -7C (~18F). I’ve been walking a lot and would be taking a lot of pictures, but it is quite dark here except from 10-3, when it very gray and not that light. Despite this, the trees and the snow are really very nice. It is often eerily quiet. Anyway, the reason that I haven’t been talking about this so much is because I really haven’t had too much time to appreciate it. I thought that as a fairly experienced traveler, I would have an easier time of adjusting, but the combination of jetlag (which I am just now getting over), missing my friends and family, anxiety about performing well this semester, and the practical difficulties of getting set up here has left me pretty stressed and unhappy. I think that I’ll feel much better about things once I can talk to some people from home, get enough time and energy to do some real math (I’ve only been able to work very poorly since getting here), and get a little closer to some of the people here.
My foot is slowly starting to heal up. I tried on my boots today and they only hurt a little. I hope I’ll be able to wear them before it gets really cold. I’ve spent so much money here already! Everything is quite expensive. Example: a value meal at McDonalds = 7 Euro. Don’t worry folks, I didn’t eat at McDonalds. There are a lot of discounts for students here, but unfortunately I don’t qualify for any of them because I am a Ph.D. student and not an undergraduate. Oh well.
Ok, time for bed. I hope that I’m not upsetting you folks. Especially Juha. I really want to be having a good time, especially given all the hard work that so many people have done to get me here, and the incredible opportunity I have here. So few people in the world have what I have – I should learn to appreciate that.
So we started with the last day of orientation at 9am. Again, boring, and this time not even really important. After that, there was lunch and then I met with a Prof from the math department (Kuusulo?). He was very nice and offered to help me find a bike and also said he would call the bank if they gave me any problems. I filled out some forms for a key, and at 2pm headed off to do some errands. Namely a) fill out a form saying what was wrong with the apartment when I moved in so that I wouldn’t be charged for it when I move out, b) pay the rent, c) pick up my computer password (which was the result of about 4 different forms), d) buy a desk lamp, e) buy a cell phone, f) buy groceries, g) get to Illke’s by 5pm. So you might be wondering why I would try to do all of this in 3 hours. Well, tomorrow is a national holiday and most things will be closed. Then almost everything will be closed on the weekend, and anything I didn’t get done today will have to wait until Monday. The cell phone and the password were therefore very important, because with out them I will have no way of arranging any human contact for three days. And I’ve been starved for human contact for too long to let that happen. The groceries were just as important because I might actually physically starve without them (see above regarding losing weight). Anyway, I accomplished a) with flying colors. However, b) was a bit more difficult. Despite just having paid the student union fee yesterday, I couldn’t remember what the Finnish words on the machine meant and didn’t want to risk signing my soul away when attempting to pay the rent. So I went into the bank and tried asking again to be signed up for internet banking (I was told last time that I was ineligible). In standard bank fashion, they said “Yes, of course you can be signed up. I have no idea why you weren’t allowed yesterday.” So I then paid the rent using a computer in the lobby of the bank designed for only that purpose. That took about an hour total. So onto c), getting the computer password, which will allow me actually use a computer that is not one of the 5 ancient iMac’s in the lobby of the library (for which there is always a line). Getting it was no problem – I went to the international student office and picked it up, where it was waiting for me after a seemingly endless process of signing forms and paying fees. Then I went to the library to check my mail, etc – but on the way I ran into Tim and some other folks who were on their way to a thrift store. I thought “Oh good, I’ll go with them now and get the lamp.” Only there were no suitable lamps, and so I went back to the library. All the computers were full, so I had to wait. When I finally got to one, my password didn’t work. The time was 3:53. So I went back to the international office, but because tomorrow is a holiday, everyone had left early, and no one could help me. So the password was useless. This really disappointed me, because I really miss my friends, and I want more than just about anything right now to talk with them and share my experiences so far. It would be really nice to talk to people over skype, too. However, with out a computer password, I can’t use any computers except the slow crowded ones in the library (which is basically only open M-F 9-5), which aren’t really suitable for spending a few hours setting up my blogs, downloading skype, or sending emails. Not to mention that I can’t register for class with out the password, or pay my credit card bill (which will be coming due very soon). So anyway, I was very frustrated by this. So much so that I really was starting to hate it here! It seemed that despite the fact that everyone is very nice, people are so over-protective of the resources here (which are substantial) that it is nearly impossible to get anything done correctly. Really, I just felt helpless and powerless. I couldn’t seem to get anything right, and it seemed that even the simple things (like finding hangars for my closet or getting to the grocery store) were next to impossible.
Ok, so back to the list. It was now 4 pm or so, and I decided to go grocery shopping. I had figured that Illke was planning on feeding me, since he said to be at his house around 5pm. However, on the way to the store, I ran into Tim and Illke. I asked “What can I bring to add to dinner?” and he just looked at me blankly. Anyway, they were on the way to get some kebab (it’s all over the world) and so I figured I’d better join them or else I’d be starving. So the grocery store got scrapped. However, I ate really fast and there was a cell phone place next to the restaurant. I bought a used nokia for 15Euro. I tried to buy service too, but apparently that’s done at another place. So I have a phone but no service yet. At this point we had to head out to Illke’s place, which was about 7km outside of town. We took the bus (2.60 Euro!). Present were Tim, Illke, three Greeks, and myself. We didn’t really do anything at Illke’s except listen to him talk about his stuff, which he was very proud of. He also did quite an impressive juggling demonstration. It was fun, but I think I would rather have gotten groceries. So I took the bus back into town around 8:30 and was home by 9:30. I really wanted a bowl of cereal, but the milk had frozen in the fridge (it remains an ice-cube after an hour next to the warm stove) so I had to settle for spaghetti for the second night in a row, with the promise of spaghetti for lunch and dinner tomorrow as well.
Well, I feel as if I’m spending a lot of time complaining and not a lot of time talking about how beautiful it is here. It is very beautiful here. It was colder today than before, but still no lower than -7C (~18F). I’ve been walking a lot and would be taking a lot of pictures, but it is quite dark here except from 10-3, when it very gray and not that light. Despite this, the trees and the snow are really very nice. It is often eerily quiet. Anyway, the reason that I haven’t been talking about this so much is because I really haven’t had too much time to appreciate it. I thought that as a fairly experienced traveler, I would have an easier time of adjusting, but the combination of jetlag (which I am just now getting over), missing my friends and family, anxiety about performing well this semester, and the practical difficulties of getting set up here has left me pretty stressed and unhappy. I think that I’ll feel much better about things once I can talk to some people from home, get enough time and energy to do some real math (I’ve only been able to work very poorly since getting here), and get a little closer to some of the people here.
My foot is slowly starting to heal up. I tried on my boots today and they only hurt a little. I hope I’ll be able to wear them before it gets really cold. I’ve spent so much money here already! Everything is quite expensive. Example: a value meal at McDonalds = 7 Euro. Don’t worry folks, I didn’t eat at McDonalds. There are a lot of discounts for students here, but unfortunately I don’t qualify for any of them because I am a Ph.D. student and not an undergraduate. Oh well.
Ok, time for bed. I hope that I’m not upsetting you folks. Especially Juha. I really want to be having a good time, especially given all the hard work that so many people have done to get me here, and the incredible opportunity I have here. So few people in the world have what I have – I should learn to appreciate that.
posted by Kevin at 1:06 AM
2 Comments:
I haven’t weighed my self, but I am thinner now (and with less upper body muscle) than I’ve been in a long time. I think this is because I’m having trouble getting enough to eat. I’ve been kept quite busy each day
It might also be due to a lack of exercise. If you were on a weight lifting program before and left it alone, it's possible that the weight loss could be a reduction in muscle mass.
It's not uncommon; back in high school, during track season I would weigh 143 lbs, but two weeks into the offseason with no weight lifting, I would weigh closer to 137.
I really want to be having a good time, especially given all the hard work that so many people have done to get me here, and the incredible opportunity I have here. So few people in the world have what I have – I should learn to appreciate that.
You should also remember that you're human, and in particular an American with 24(?) years or so of socialization in American society. I think you're entitled to a little griping from discomfort, as you adapt to this new place.
Chin up, amigo. We're all rooting for ya. q:
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